It's Complicated

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

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FaceBook is correct about relationships. It can get complicated. That's the kind of relationship Running and I now have.


A rower-friend introduced me to Running way back in 2003. I did not fancy her at first, but I was adventurous and open-minded, so I dove in and dated Running. Our relationship was far from ideal. I must admit that for years, I just used her to lose weight and pass time. Running made me looked good, but I did not really love her. Everything changed in October 2008. Finally, I fell for her. I lovingly wrote about this process in my Falling in Love Series, Parts 1, 2 and 3.

In November I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Running. The realization came at km18 of a 25km foot race I have longed to conquer. From km18 I was rushing to the finish line to proclaim that realization. At the finish line, I gazed at Running, hugged her, knelt down and proposed to her. We have been engaged since then, and have been busy preparing to solemnize our love through a 42km marathon of a wedding ceremony to happen sometime in 2009.

It was during the long preparation for the marathon wedding that our relationship got complicated. Running began to notice the changes in me. I would spend hours practicing - like a man possessed. According to her, I transformed from a carefree lover to an obsessed groom-to-be. I was allegedly pushing too much and too soon. Running asked if I truly love her, or am I simply in love with the idea that is her and the possibilities that idea opens.

How could you doubt me?,
I retorted. You knew and felt what happened in Clark, I added. I love you and that love is pure. Nothing else mattered.

Running said: I am not perfect. Would you love me not only for the joys I bring, but also for the pains I may give in the process? Would you continue to love me if your foot is beset by plantar fasciitis, or if being with me meant having shin splints?

The reality of what Running said struck me and I was stupefied for moments. Indeed, I have been suffering for more than a month now from a plethora of runner's pains, traveling from my left heel, lingering in my calf, and now threatening to attack my left knee. Coming back to my senses, I told this to Running: From km 18 onwards, I was a runner in love. I knew then that by running fast I was risking heel pain, but I sprinted just the same because I basking in our mutual love. I am mature enough to know that love does not come easy, but I decided to love just the same. Love is a decision I made at km 18.

Running was crying by the time I finished my sentences. She said to me, I want to believe, but I am scared.

I am scared myself,
I said. I am scared I may be really injured. I am scared that my left leg may never get strong enough to withstand the demands of our intended marriage. I am scared, but I am trying. I never ceased trying. I am swimming and biking in the hope that doing so can temporarily ease the pains and possibly provide a lasting solution. I am reading in the hope I can find answers. I am open to consultations. I am doing all these to make our relationship work. They say one must not be afraid to commit to a relationship so long as one chooses a partner well. I have chosen you. To you I have committed myself. I commit to make this relationship work.

As a sign of my commitment I am doing the Power Run - 15kms of hope and prayers on the 15th day of the month of love. I am not sure if my left leg is already strong for this commitment, but run I shall do, slow down if I have to, and walk to the finish if I really must. Maybe at the finish line we shall both realize that love need not be complicated after all.


4 comments:

bong February 20, 2009 at 2:35 AM  

Hey Rico. What you're feeling about running is called - fatal attraction - not love, he he. You're post is very funny.

Rico Villanueva February 20, 2009 at 10:17 PM  

Fatal attraction? Maybe hehe.

thebullrunner February 23, 2009 at 7:35 AM  

Hey ricov, my injury always starts once my mileage hits 18k too. Do you strength train and stretch? Those help in recovery. Stay strong! I'm sure you'll recover soon.

Rico Villanueva February 23, 2009 at 10:36 PM  

Hello Jaymie. I strength train and cool down, but I think I do not stretch enough. I am doing a lot of after-run stretching now. I hope all of us of runners will run strong in time for Condura and other good races.

Thanks for dropping by. I like your blog, especially how you easily get to the core of things and how you start and end. I wish you all the best. :-)

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